Close Your Eyes

In reality, I am working as a camera assistant on an independent feature film titled, "Fruit Fly" from the creative team behind "Colma: The Musical," "The Princess of Nebraska," and "Option 3."

We are at the halfway point of production and it has been a lot of hard work in some very cramped spaces.

I am doing this for a reason that is uniquely separate from any pecuniary motivations.

In fantasy, it's all the same.

I wake up at night thinking about where the DP wants the camera placed and why are we still shooting at 3 am in MY apartment and how long have I been thinking this.

I lay awake and think about all of those unfinished scripts that hide inside folders inside folders inside my hard drive. I wonder when all of these dreams will become reality and whether I even have the wherewithall to accomplish anything beyond video games and taking out the trash.

My excuses are narrowing to myself and myself.

8 more days of production.

And then what will I create?

I close my eyes and find that it's all the same.